Siri, where are you taking us?

We've all read about the people who blindly follow their GPS out into the wildnerness, only to run out of gas, get stuck, or otherwise find themselves in deep doo-doo.  If you're like me, you probably ask yourself "How could they let that happen?".  Here is one possible scenario:

You're driving to Bend, OR to meet your nephew (let's call him Jordan) for some mountain bike riding.  Bend just happens to have 500 miles of trails within 50 miles of town, so there is plenty to choose from.  Now, it just so happens that you have already put in about 3 hours of riding with Jordan's brother Zane at Sandy Ridge, a mountian bike playground near Mt. Hood (paved road uphill, lots of amazing singletrack choices for the downhill - fantastic riding!).  Since you and the family are a little gassed, you tell Jordan that you want to ride again this evening, but something downhill, preferably with a car shuttle.  No problem, says Jordan.  He'll come up with a plan and let us now.  A little while later he texts with the plan.  He and his buddy want to get a longer ride in, so they'll ride first and meet us part way through the ride.  First red flag, finding someone along the trails you aren't familiar with.  "You have a mountian biking app with the trail info?", he asks.  Why yes we do, the same one he uses, so no worries, right? "Let's meet at the trailhead for Phil's Traverse, he texts.

We fire up the app, Donette types in Phil's Traverse, and Siri starts her magic.  We make it through Bend and are heading out to the West, so all seems OK.  Siri tells us to turn off the highway onto a dirt road.  Hmm, we aren't that far from town; I was expecting a longer downhill.  We inspect the app to double check.  Hmmm, there is a Phil's Traverse Uphill and  Phil's Traverse Downhill.  Siri has been guiding us to the Uphill trailhead.  Surely this can't be right, we don't want to ride uphill anymore today.  We call Jordan to confirm.  "Should we be going to the Uphill trailhead we ask, or the Downhill?"  He gives us the answer we want to here - Downhill!  Yay, punch in the new info, turn around, and head further up the paved road.

"Turn left here" Siri commands.  Are you kidding me, this tiny road?  Red flag #2 - the trailheads in Bend are almost always right off a good sized road with ample parking.  We start driving into the forest.  After a couple of miles of rough, but passable, road,  Siri says turn left again, onto a small double track lane pointing deeper into the woods.  Well, OK, we are meeting them in the middle of a ride, so maybe this is right.  There are bike tracks visible in the dust, so someone has ridden here recently.  The road obviously doesn't see much vehicle use, though.  Our van barely fits beneath the low hanging branches, and we worry about the surfboards strapped to the roof.  As we delve deeper into the forest the road gets tighter, and the overhanging branches get lower.  We squeeze through a couple of downed trees that have been chainsawed to let vehicles through.  We come around a slight bend to find a newly fallen tree blocking the path.  This can't be right, but Siri assures us we are almost there.  We neglected to bring our chainsaw on this trip, but we get out to see what we can do.  It is a small tree, but wedged tightly between some other trees and too big for the three of us to lift, especially with my shoulder injury.  It looks pretty dried out though, so we opt to hook up our tow strap and see if we can snap it in two.

Attaching the tow strap

We attach the tow strap, stand back, and Donette starts backing up.  With a satisfying crack the tree snaps in two, and, most importantly, no one gets injured. 

Success!

 

 

We move the pieces to the side and continue.  Another small road comes in from the side, and Siri announces we have arrived.  Right.  Were sitting in the middle of the forest as the sun is going down, with no other cars or activity in sight.  We get a text from Jordan - "We're here, where are you guys?".  It is now officially a boondoggle.  Cell coverage is spotty, but we manage to get through and figure out that the two parties are nowhere close.  Surprise! Not.  Turns out they are at the trailhead for Phil's Uphill.  "I didn't know you could drive to the top", says Jordan.  He didn't know, because obviously no one ever does it.  But Siri knows how to get there, and if you ask her to take you there, she will. 

We turn around and inch back along the forest roads.  With daylight and motivation both waning,  we decide to just bag the riding and meet at rendevous point number two, La Parilla Grill in Bend, home of many interesting wraps and burrito combos, with local craft brew on tap as well. Highly recommended.  There's plenty of time tomorrow to get some good riding in.